The People of Boston and West, Texas Have Courage and Heart!

The third principle in the Don't Seek Success - Be Happi model is "Heart." In the wake of two horrific tragedies in the United States last week, the Boston Marathon bombings at the hands of two terrorists and a devastating accident at a fertilizer plant in the small Texas town of West, ordinary Americans showed they have "Heart" in a big way. 

Among the hundreds of stories of ordinary people showing their "Heart" and taking action to help victims of the bombings in Boston is the story of Ben and Mike. As reported by USA Today;

Darrel Folkert, 42 of Redondo Beach, Calif., says he is thankful for two men named Ben and Mike – he doesn't know their last names. They carried Folkert to safety when he was hit by shrapnel by the second explosion near the finish line Monday.

Folkert was standing on the north side of Boylston Street to watch his wife Jac ,42, finish the race. Jac Folkert never made it there and was instead diverted off the course a half-mile from the finish. Folkert made it across Boylston, but that was it.

"I was able to stumble across the course and I sat down on the curb," he said. "A number of different people offered to help me."

Darrel Folkert said Mike and Ben carried him down a side street to Shaw's grocery store where the two good samaritans stayed with Folkert while employees of the grocery store responded.

Folkert had suffered lacerations and puncture wounds on his lower legs.

"I couldn't have moved without somebody helping me," he said. "What they did was way above and beyond."

Ann Marie McDonough is a bookkeeper for Shaw's and has been with the company for 30 years, according to store supervisor Benjamin Guiterrez. He said McDonough rushed to Folkert's aid with bandages and water, and she got on the intercom to ask if there was a nurse in the store.

Mike and Ben tracked down police officers who called an ambulance, and Folkert was taken to Brigham and Women's Hospital and treated for his injuries.

"The staff was amazingly attentive and extremely helpful, not just to my injuries but also helping me get in touch with my wife and family," Folkert said. "It wasn't until an hour after I arrived at the hospital that I knew my wife was OK." (USA Today).

Jerri Milbank lived 30 minutes outside of Boston, but still wanted to do something and she found a way to help;

"I thought, 'What can I do?' I live 30 minutes outside of the city and I have a big home with a lot of room," she said. "In my heart, I wasn't doing anything — all I did was offer my home. But the generosity from all over the world was amazing." (USA Today).

Joe Andruzzi carries Injured
Victim to Safety

Time Magazine wrote about Joe Andruzzi: a former New England Patriots offensive lineman "carried an injured woman to safety, and a photo of the courageous act has gone viral. He did not know the woman’s name; he only knew that she was from Virginia, and that she and her three daughters were looking for her husband, who was running in the race. Just moments ago, he had carried a man covered in blood to the medical tent. Andruzzi’s instinct to help runs in his family; his brothers are NYC firefighters who worked at Ground Zero during 9/11, ESPN reports. A cancer survivor himself, Andruzzi had been at a marathon watching party for his cancer charity at The Forum, a restaurant along the finish line, when the explosions occurred."

According to FOX News, Boston eateries such as Appleton Cafe and Vapiano donated food and let people use their establishments as places to regroup. At one point, El Pelon Taqueria offered free watermelon juice and wi-fi, and let people use its electrical outlets to charge their phones. The Middle Eastern restaurant Oleana volunteered on Facebook to put up anyone who needed a place to stay. On Reddit, a California woman Liz Kosearas organized Random Acts of Pizza, a thread where people worldwide can arrange via GrubHub for Boston pizzerias to deliver pies to needy people or places where people are working around the clock such as Boston hospitals, fire houses and police stations.

Dr. Nancy Stavas

An then there is Dr. Nancy Stavas, a pediatric resident at Boston Medical Center who instinctively rushed into the line of fire to treat victims immediately after finishing the Marathon on a broken foot no less. Dr. Stavas, who broke her foot during training, was running the famous Boston Marathon for charity along with her father Joe, a radiologist.  

The UK's Daily Mail  reports in the minutes after the explosions, she carried out CPR and used bits of clothing to help stop people's wounds bleeding.  'As a physician, I take an oath to do the best I can,' she told the LA Times. 

Dr. Stavas almost pulled out of the race because of her broken foot, but she was determined to run and complete the race because she was doing it for charity. As the Daily Mail reported, had she not been there, victims would not have been treated so quickly. 

"I hope I can help us move forward and be a stronger person and overcome what we have been through...and go back out there next year and cross the finish line of the Boston Marathon," concluded Dr. Stavas. 

Meanwhile, just a day later some 2000 miles away in the town of West, Texas a fertilizer plant explosion literally destroyed a densely populated area in the small town of 2700 residents. Like the people of Boston, the citizens of West, Texas showed they have "Heart" too.

West, Texas Senior Being
Evacuated After Explosion

CBS DWF reports, "Businesses, homes and churches near West have opened their doors to displaced residents. Reverend James Stevens with the First Baptist Church of Gholson said, “People are bringing food and water and blankets and necessities for these victims, and we’re so thankful for everybody’s generosity in time of crisis.”

“I know we hear a lot about police, a lot about first responders and about firemen rushing into the scene,” said Swanton. “Folks, I am here to tell you that there are some true heroes out there today that aren’t cops, aren’t paid firemen. They are civilians, and they’re going into a line of fire with us as well. So, certainly we appreciate those folks that are showing up in a supportive role. They are saving lives with us.”

Why do people help during and in the aftermath of tragedy? Quite simply because they have "Heart." In Don't Seek Success - Be Happi, I divide "Heart" into there areas, the "Moral Heart", the "Mental Heart", and the "Emotional Heart." The "Moral Heart" is doing the right thing in the face of opposition or even danger. There is something about a tragic event that triggers our "Moral Heart" and we spur to action because it is the right thing to do. Thankfully, tragic events like the Boston Marathon bombings and the accidental explosion in Texas are rare. Most us are not in the wrong place at the right time to allow our "Moral Heart" to kick in, but we can and should seek to use our "Moral Heart" everyday and do the right thing. 

In an interview with HuffPost Teen, former First Daughter Chelsea Clinton advises "Ask yourself what you can do for others. " She says, "When [my grandmother and parents] would ask me, 'Well, what did you do today?' part of what they implied was, 'Well, what did you do for others?' It would not have been okay at the dinner table if I just didn’t have something to say ... That was the kind of world I grew up in. And being asked those questions really often helped me to always think, 'Wow, I have a real responsibility to define my life partly through what I can do for others and what I can learn from others.' I’m grateful that they set that example."

In an interview with U. S. News, journalist Elizabeth Svoboda, author of a book to be released in August entitled, "What Makes a Hero? The Surprising Science of Selflessness," says, "To be a big hero you need a big opportunity. If you're not in the middle of a situation like Boston, you might not have the opportunity to be one of these front page of the newspaper type of heroes, but if you keep your eyes open, there are plenty of opportunities to help people on a daily basis. You can attune yourself to what people around you need and develop a mindset where you're focused on others, so you might be more likely to step up if you get into a big situation."

Here is a perfect example of finding opportunities to exercise your "Moral Heart" and do the right thing.  Yesterday, I had walked to the grocery store and bought way more than I should have to carry home walking. There is a hill that must be climbed to reach my house. A very nice young couple heading out to dinner saw me struggling with the grocery bags and offered to go out of their way and give me a ride home. Their "Moral Heart kicked in and they felt it was the right thing to do. Thank you Jackie and Teo. 

There are rewards for employing your "Moral Heart" too. We feel good about doing the right thing and helping others. 

Svoboda says, "...studies have found that when you do something selfless, such as give money to charity, the part of the brain that processes rewards light up on MRI scans. In some sense, when you're giving to others you might feel like when you're getting a gift yourself or winning the lottery. Helping others gives us the feeling we're making a difference and makes us happy because we feel as if we have a purpose. (U.S. News).

Congratulations to the citizens of Boston and West Texas. You have Heart!

And now, I have a challenge for everybody reading this, What can you do today to employ your "Moral Heart" and help somebody in need? 

For more on "Heart," see Don't Seek Success - Be Happi."

Be Great!

MB

"The Woman who Saved Britain;" Margret Thatcher, The "Iron Lady" Dies of Stroke; Transforms Her Country with Passion and Purpose.

A remarkable woman whom many admirers called Great Britain’s “greatest peacetime leader”, former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher passed away on Monday, April 8, 2013 at the age of 87.  Thatcher was Prime Minister from 1979 to 1990.

Years ago, in a tribute speech, “Maggie” Thatcher said;

“Ronald Reagan’s achievements can be summed up like this: he made America great again, and he used that greatness to set the nations free. Either of these achievements would qualify a President for the political pantheon: but to have succeeded in both marks out President Reagan as one of America’s very greatest leaders.

All his policies were of a peace, and all reflected his own distinctive philosophy. He believed in America, and he believed in people.

When the academics foretold American decline, he replied that there was nothing this nation couldn’t do, once given the chance.

When the economists denounced his policies of tax cuts as simplistic, he didn’t mind if his answers were simple because they were true.

When liberals doubted if Americans were willing to master events and make sacrifices, he replied (and I quote): “No weapon in the arsenals of the world is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women”.

Later in that same speech, Thatcher spoke these words;

“President Reagan didn’t just abhor communism, mistrust socialism and dislike bureaucracy, he truly loved liberty – he loved it with a passion which went far beyond anything else in his political life. It was what brought moral grandeur to his vision of America and to his dreams for a better world. It was directed not mainly at earthly powers and principalities but rather at the infinitely precious, utterly unique human being, wherever he or she was yearning to breathe free.”

Mrs. Thatcher could have been looking in the mirror with her comments about President Reagan. Without a doubt Margaret Thatcher, a grocer’s daughter who rose to become Britain’s top political leader made Great Britain great again. While she gives President Reagan credit for the fall of communism, she was the one who told the President, after a trip to Moscow, that they could work with Mikhail Gorbachev.

As the New York Times reports, like Ronald Reagan;

 “Mrs. Thatcher, many Britons said, transformed their country, opening the way for sweeping privatization and deregulation, legitimizing wealth and unleashing acquisitive, entrepreneurial passions among her compatriots…”

Mrs. Thatcher’s prescription for Britain in the 1980s — faith in market forces, willingness to impose short-term austerity in the service of long-term prosperity, and skepticism or even hostility to the fiscal and social costs of the welfare state…It is an indelible part of the Thatcher legacy that her success in remaking Britain.”

Margret Thatcher had faith in “the ability of capitalism to spread prosperity in a way that socialist redistribution never could.” (New York Times).

Britain’s the Daily Mail said of Mrs. Thatcher, “It can be said of very few people that their existence on this Earth made a difference. But that claim can be made with absolute certainty for the great British stateswoman who died yesterday. Indeed, Margaret Thatcher changed the landscape of politics, at home and around the world, in ways that reverberate to this day.”

I write in Don’t Seek Success – Be Happi about Passion and Purpose being the two primary keys to happiness, and it is up to us to find our passions and purposes in life. Margret Thatcher lived her passion and purpose.

Her passion was an abiding love of Great Britain and her purpose was to restore greatness to her country that she and much of the world saw as in decline. Most would say she succeeded with a free market conservatism of which Britain was not accustomed.

Current Prime Minister David Cameron remembers Mrs. Thatcher simply as the woman “who saved our country.”

President Obama called her “one of the great champions of freedom and liberty,” and as an example to women that “there is no glass ceiling that can’t be shattered.”

I rarely agree with President Obama, but he is on target here. Margret Thatcher was a feminist in very sense of the word. She rose from humble beginning from a working class family to become the most powerful woman in the world in the almost exclusively male dominated arena of politics. 

Thatcher lived her passion and purpose in life. Indeed, as President Obama said, she shattered the glass ceiling where women in politics were often shut out. She has given young woman the ability to dream that they too, someday, could become Prime Minister or President of their country.

The world has suffered a tremendous loss in the death of Margret Thatcher, but I suspect she is in Heaven now reunited with her dear friend Ronnie recollecting on their lives of passion and purpose and enjoying each other’s well known sense of humor. Margret Thatcher and her incredible legacy will be missed.

For more information on finding your passion and purposes in life, see Don’t Seek Success – Be Happi.

Be Great!

MB

Phillip Donlay Contiues Lifelong Passion; Finds New Purpose After Career Tragically Ends

One might say Phillip Donlay was born to fly. His grandfather was a private pilot and would take Philip up and let him steer the plane at 4 years old. Donlay writes for  the Huffington Post in an article entitled, “Philip Donlay, Former Pilot Turned Author: 'I Wanted My Swagger Back,'” “I would sit on his lap and he would let me steer. It would scare me to death, but I couldn't wait to get back up.”

Philip’s passion for flying continued through his teens and he became a licensed pilot at 17 and by the time he was 20, Philip was a co-pilot of a jet plane for a Saudi sheik. That experience gave Donlay valuable jet experience and in 1980, he became a corporate jet pilot – a job he loved and held for 28 years.

During the height of his flying career, Phillip started feeling pains and had trouble sleeping in his mid-twenties. By the time he was in his forties, he suspected something more was going on. As a jet pilot, a physical was required every 6 months. Philip writes, “It finally got to the point where I had to find the answers. I didn't want to hear them -- in my mind, jeopardizing my career and not being able to fly would be the absolute worst thing that could happen to me. As it turned out I did have medical issues. It took my career away from me…I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called ankylosing spondylitis at 52 -- it's an autoimmune arthritic condition.”

In an attempt to salvage his career and love of flying, Donaly says, “the quality of life without drugs was just almost unberable. I went to the Mayo Clinic to get a second opinion on this just to salvage my career. They uncovered some cardiac issues. I had arterial blockage. I had a triple bypass heart surgery [in 2008 and] that was the end of my career at that point.”

Phillip Donlay, Corporate Jet Captain working in a job he was passionate about and gave his life purpose was grounded!

Phillip recalls, “It was horrible. I don't like change. I loved my job, I loved doing it and I still miss it. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to me at that time. I was a wreck. It took me a while to try to find my purpose again. I think we all need that, and men are even worse at -- we are what we do. One day I was a senior jet captain, the next day I'm just a guy living on the 4th floor.”

With almost unbearable pain and a career cruelly taken away from him by an unfortunate medical condition, Philip Donlay could have easily become bitter, angry and resentful, looking out the window of his 4^th floor home, wondering, “why me?”

Phillip would have none of that, though. He explains, “When I couldn't fly anymore I really did need a purpose. I was really lost. I needed something that would give me some focus and some drive. I wanted my swagger back. I wanted the swagger that I had as a jet pilot.”

Donlay found his swagger by turning his passion for airplanes into a successful career writing novels with, what else?, airplanes in them!

Of his writing career, Phillip says, “Writing gave me that. [Purpose] It gives me a reason to get up in the morning; I have to use my brain, I have to be useful, I have a purpose now. I have goals and I set them for myself. Everything was rescaled from flying around the world in a private jet -- including the salary. Once all of those issues that I thought were the worst things in the world settled down, it turned out to be the best thing.

Phillip concludes, “I've seen the world at 600 miles an hour and now I get to see it at 60 -- so it appeals to me. As a novelist I can write anywhere. It's a better world now than it was 10 years ago, and I would never have guessed that. I'm healthier and happier now than when I thought I was at the top of the world and where I wanted to be.”

Phillip Donlay did not let the end of his career end his passion for airplanes and flying. Instead, it was a new beginning. Phillip no longer flew around the world and no longer had the big salary, but he found purpose in his writing and a way to continue his lifelong passion for flying and airplanes. He simply found another way.

All of us have passions that can drive purpose in our lives. Sadly, few of us pursue our passions and purposes in life in any meaningful way. If you are passionate about basketball, but playing the game at a high level is not in the cards, do what Phillip Donlay did, find another way to pursue your passion. Basketball teams need coaches, trainers, and the like. Merchandizing apparel with team logos is big business or come up with a new product associated with your passion. Teams need broadcasters and media researchers, bloggers and writers. You could even do what Phillip Donlay did and write a novel about basketball or a true account about a player or amazing game. All it takes is imagination! Don’t let life circumstances get in the way of your passions and purposes in life.

As Walt Disney is reported to have once said, “Think, Believe, Dream, Dare!”

For more on passion, purpose, finding your profitable passion, and imagination, see Don’t Seek Success – Be Happi.

Be Great!

MB 

Hair Salon Owner Karen Ennis has Heart and Finds Purpose in Allowing Customers to Pay What They Can Afford

Karen Ennis, a Wrightsville, Pennsylvania hair salon owner started a new price model on February 16 that is sure to drive marketing experts and MBA’s crazy.  Karen now let’s customers pay what they can afford. 

According to report entitled “Hair Salon Owner Tells Customers, 'Pay What You Can Afford” by Huffington Post and WGAL TV, “customers now leave what they wish in an unmarked envelope in a box. Ennis does not open the envelopes until the end of the week to ensure the payments remain anonymous.”

Ennis, tells WGAL that she noticed some of her loyal customers had stopped coming in for regular salon services over the last three years. They couldn't afford it, she says. "I look around and I see nothing but hurting souls because the economy has put stress on moms," said Ennis.

Watch the WGAL story below;

The pay what you can afford price system is Ennis way of helping to ease the economic hardship in her community. In the interview with WGAL, Ennis said, "A lot of people are concerned I will lose my shirt," but it's a leap of faith."

It is too early to tell whether the unusual price system will work, but early indications are that many pay more than what was originally on the old price list.

Ennis says this is not a gimmick and has nothing to do with competition. She says she does not want to steal customers from other salons, she just wants to do her part to help in difficult times.

Without a doubt, Karin Ennis has certainly found her moral heart by doing what she believes to be the right thing for her community in spite of many telling her she is crazy. Karen also has found new purpose through her business in helping her community through tough economic times. Karen says it is pure joy to see some of her old customers return and not have to worry about breaking their family budget to get their hair done. To borrow a phrase from Master Card, for Karen Ennis, that joy is priceless.

I was struck by a comment to the Huffington Post report on Ennis, Julie99 says among other things, “There are many good people in the world. Success is not measured by dollars, but what you can do for others. Hurray for this woman.” Julie99 knows what she is talking about. Money is not the answer to happiness and personal fulfillment. That comes from Passion and Purpose, along with the other principals in the “Be Happi” model of Belief, Enthusiasm, Heart, Attitude and Imagination. There is nothing wrong with money, but it will not in and of itself make you happy or assure that you feel successful.

Here is Julie99’s full comment to the Huffington Post report on Karen Ennis;

“Ending near 40 years of service in hairdressing, I charged $5.00 a cut for adults and $3.00 for kids. Some people doubled that in tips. If you required a service more and could not afford, we did the bartering system. If they said they could not afford a perm, I asked if they could bake a cake? We fed a lot of hungry people on those cakes cookies or whatever. We traded service of raking leaves and shoveling snow for some kids. Shoveling parking lot, fixing my auto for part price and exchange for hair services. Once some lady brought two plants, and another two old pantsuits, the best one was when one lady brought two live chickens. I had egg farmer I quickly delivered them to. Cancer victims never left empty headed, as, people would drop off old wigs and we fixed them up. Nothing for me to run to a rummage sale before work to purchase boots or shoes for the needy coming in. Not a fancy place, but where I also raised my children. Christmas, I purchased trees that were selling out for a dollar, for people who never had one, bought construction paper and old cards for their kids to decorate, wrapped up things at my shop and dropped them off anonymously. There are many good people in the world. Success is not measured by dollars, but what you can do for others. .Hurray for this woman.”

For more on the principles of heart, passion, purpose and the entire Don’t Seek Success – Be Happi model, visit Amazon.com to read a preview of the book.

Be Great!

MB

Artist IO Tillett Wright Finds Passion and Purpose in Fifty Shades of Gay

Artist and Photographer IO Tillett Wright found her passion and purpose in life through a personal struggle with her identity while growing up in New York City. In a video for Ted Talks, entitled Fifty Shades of Gay, Wright explains;

“If this was a war with two disparate sides, I, by default, fell on team gay, because I certainly wasn't 100 percent straight. At the time I was just beginning to emerge from this eight-year personal identity crisis zigzag that saw me go from being a boy to being this awkward girl that looked like a boy in girl's clothes to the opposite extreme of this super skimpy, over-compensating, boy-chasing girly-girl to finally just a hesitant exploration of what I actually was, a tomboyish girl who liked both boys and girls depending on the person.”

IO asked hundreds of people she met along the way to quantify themselves on a scale of one to 100 percent gay. What she found was many were just like her…somewhere in between.

This begs the question, if so many are not completely straight or completely gay, where do you draw the line when it comes to discrimination?

Watch the full video with IO Tillett Wright below;

Wright says, “I loved these people, and I admired their freedom, but I watched as the world outside of our utopian bubble exploded into these raging debates where pundits started likening our love to bestiality on national television. And this powerful awareness rolled in over me that I was a minority, and in my own home country, based on one facet of my character. I was legally and indisputably a second-class citizen.

I was not an activist. I wave no flags in my own life. But I was plagued by this question: How could anyone vote to strip the rights of the vast variety of people that I knew based on one element of their character? How could they say that we as a group were not deserving of equal rights as somebody else?

And then it occurred to me, perhaps if they could look into the eyes of the people that they were casting into second-class citizenship it might make it harder for them to do. It might give them pause.”

IO has since photographed over 2000 people who fall somewhere on the spectrum between gay and straight.

“I had spent a year photographing this new generation of girls, much like myself, who fell kind of between-the-lines -- girls who skateboarded but did it in lacy underwear, girls who had boys' haircuts but wore girly nail polish, girls who had eye shadow to match their scraped knees, girls who liked girls and boys who all liked boys and girls who all hated being boxed in to anything.”

IO’s photographs can be viewed at Self Evident Truths. 

Wright's ultimate goal: 10,000 portraits and a nationwide rethinking of discriminatory laws.

Whether you agree or disagree with IO’s cause, Ms. Wright has found passion and purpose through an issue that was personal and important to her. She uses her talent and passion for art and photography to portray this group of people that “fall in between the lines” and combines it with her passion for equality for all, giving IO’s life purpose and meaning.

I applaud IO Tillett Wright’s passion, talent and purpose. As a conservative, I believe in personal liberty for all and abhor discrimination is any form and against any group of people. Admittedly and unfortunately, this is a minority view within the conservative community, but to my way of thinking it is the only consistent and responsible position for conservatives to take. 

Former Vice President Dick Cheney and Senator Ron Portman are shining examples of taking a consistent position of personal liberty for all. They did so after personal experiences with a gay family member, but it should not have to come to that. Conservatives should stand for personal liberty for all and despise discrimination in any form against any group of people, regardless of lifestyle.

For more on passion, purpose and finding your profitable passion, see Don’t Seek Success – Be Happi.

Be Great!

MB

A Beautiful Child Inspires Passion and Purpose for Connie Feda

While browsing a toy catalog Hannah Feda, 9 years old at the time, told her mother that none of the dolls pictured looked like her. Hannah, now 13, has her wish thanks to her mother.

In an article for the Huffington Post by Jessica Samakow and an accompanying video entitled Dolls For Downs: Mom Connie Feda Creates Dolls Inspired By Her Daughter, Connie Feda explains how Hannah’s observation inspired her to create a doll that looked like her beautiful daughter. 

Hannah has Downs Syndrome.Connie’s mission and passion is to "represent children with disabilities in an honest, favorable light and give kids with disabilities a friend for life."  The article notes “With the help of sculptor Karen Scott, occupational therapists and other parents of children with Down syndrome, Feda was able to create dolls that physically reflect what her daughter and other kids see in the mirror.”

Watch the video below.

Connie’s mission and passion is to "represent children with disabilities in an honest, favorable light and give kids with disabilities a friend for life."  The article notes “With the help of sculptor Karen Scott, occupational therapists and other parents of children with Down syndrome, Feda was able to create dolls that physically reflect what her daughter and other kids see in the mirror.”

Connie told WPIX TV, “My favorite thing is the hand. Look at them, they’re so cute and pudgy.”

Connie has designed the Dolls for Downs to be far more than to simply be a “friend” for life. As Feda explains in  Dolls For Downs: Mom Connie Feda Creates Dolls Inspired By Her Daughter,  the dolls will teach “eye-hand coordination, fine motor skills, and tactile input. "Our clothing is easier to get on [and] has friendlier sized snaps and buttons. ... Kids play naturally, so it's the perfect [toy] to practice essential skills like buttons, snaps, ties and zippers, hair brushing and story-telling,”

Connie concludes “I want Hannah to see a doll with Down syndrome and see something beautiful, because that's what I see when I look at her.”

The first five dolls named, Ellie, Nikki, Hannah, Grace and Aziza can be pre-ordered at Dolls for Downs. Connie Feda hopes to launch the project on May 1, 2013.

Connie Feda has found passion and purpose through a simple and sad observation from her young daughter, Hannah. I suspect it will be a profitable passion, indeed.

For more information on passion, purpose and how to find your profitable passion, see Don’t Seek Success – Be Happi.

Be Great!

MB

Heart and Purpose Found on the A/C/E Subway in NYC

In a New York Times article entitled, “We Found Our Son in the Subway,” Peter Mercurio recounts a heart-warming story of how he and his Partner of three years at the time had their lives changed forever by a total stranger in a New York City Subway – a new born baby boy!

Mercurio writes;

“Danny called me that day, frantic. “I found a baby!” he shouted. “I called 911, but I don’t think they believed me. No one’s coming. I don’t want to leave the baby alone. Get down here and flag down a police car or something.” By nature Danny is a remarkably calm person, so when I felt his heart pounding through the phone line, I knew I had to run.”

Danny stayed with the baby until Peter arrived, still waiting for authorities to respond. Ultimately, Family Court took custody of the infant. As you might expect, the story garnered a great deal of media attention, nicknaming the new born, “Baby ACE” after the A/C/E subway on which he was found. You might think this is where the story ends and Danny and Peter would simply have an amazing story to tell to family and friends on how they found a baby boy on the subway for years to come.

Peter writes, however, “What neither of us knew, or could have predicted, was that Danny had not just saved an abandoned infant; he had found our son.”

Three months after finding “Baby ACE” on the subway, Danny appeared in Family Court to recount how he found the infant. Enter the family court judge, a remarkable and intuitive woman, unnamed in the story, who at the hearing, asks Danny, ““Would you be interested in adopting this baby?”

Peter recollects, “The question stunned everyone in the courtroom, everyone except for Danny, who answered, simply, “Yes.”

“But I know it’s not that easy,” he said. (Danny).

“Well, it can be,” assured the judge before barking out orders to commence with making him and, by extension, me, parents-to-be.

Peter Mercurio

My first reaction, when I heard, went something like: “Are you insane? How could you say yes without consulting me?” Let’s just say, I nailed the “jerk” part of knee-jerk.

In three years as a couple, we had never discussed adopting a child. Why would we? Our lives were not geared for child rearing.” (Peter).

Danny was an underpaid social worker and Peter an aspiring playwright, struggling to make it financially in the Big Apple.  Peter ultimately changed his mind about the adoption, writing, “But here was fate, practically giving us a baby. How could we refuse?”

The adoption case worker, told Danny and Peter the process would take at least 9 months before they would be allowed to take custody of “Baby ACE,” enough time to get their lives in order and prepare for the addition to their family.

Enter the Family Court Judge again. A week after being told the process would take several months, Danny and Peter were required to appear before the Judge to state their intentions to adopt “Baby ACE,” just three days before Christmas. The Judge asked, “Would you like him for the holiday?”

Peter recalls, “Our nine-month window of thoughtful preparation was instantly compacted to a mere 36 hours. We were getting a baby for Christmas.”

They spent that year as Foster Parents and again appeared before the Judge to finalize the adoption. At the hearing, Peter writes, “I raised my hand. “Your honor, we’ve been wondering why you asked Danny if he was interested in adopting?”

“I had a hunch,” she just said. “Was I wrong?” And with that she rose from her chair, congratulated us, and exited the courtroom.  

Well, you might think this wonderful story ends here and you would be wrong.

Some 12 years later, after same sex marriage became legal in New York State, “Baby ACE,” now named Kevin suggested the Judge who handled the adoption marry his parents. She agreed and with Kevin by their side, Danny and Peter were married.

Peter concludes, “I reflected on the improbable circumstances that delivered all of us to this moment. We weren't supposed to be there, two men, with a son we had never dreamed of by our side, getting married by a woman who changed and enriched our lives more than she would ever know. But there we were, thanks to a fateful discovery and a judicious hunch.”

And now, as the late great, Paul Harvey would say, “You know the rest of the story.”

(I highly recommend reading the entire article by ,“We Found Our Son in the Subway,” it will make you smile and renew your faith in the goodness of many people in this world.) Peter has also written a play on their experience entitled ““Found (a True Story).”

Concentration Camp Survivor, Dr. Victor Frankl said some 50 years ago in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning,”  that people can find purpose in a cause, a person, or a work, often all three. Danny and Peter found a life purpose they could have never imagined on a Subway in New York City in the form of an innocent abandoned baby boy in need of nurturing and love. They did so, by using their moral heart to do the right thing and emotional heart to give their love to a total stranger. And let’s not forget the Family Court Judge, who used her moral heart to do the right thing by following her intuition that Danny and Peter would make great parents at a time where adoptions by same sex couples was not widely accepted.

For more on finding purpose in your life and how to follow your moral and emotional heart, see “Don’t Seek Success – Be Happi.”

Be Great!

MB